Kestenberg Archive

NH was born in December 1942. Her mother was born and raised in Yugoslavia and her father in Velno, a small town on the Germany-Holland border. In 1935 her parents, who met in Yugoslavia, moved to Israel and lived in Tel Aviv for three years but left due to the Arab-Jewish conflict. After trying to settle in Yugoslavia, but being refused as her father was not a citizen, they settled in Holland. Her father worked for the Jewish Council which delayed their deportation during the Holocaust and granted them a degree of protection. NH is concerned that he was bribed and substituted names in order to protect his own family. She describes him as a violent, abusive and disturbed man with psychopathic characteristics unrelated to his Holocaust experiences. Her mother describes NH's father as a hero. NH is obsessed with finding out what her father really did during the war. ; In March 1944 her family was deported. Before they left NH's parents placed her in hiding with a family in Hilversum, close to Amsterdam. She was there for six months while her parents were interned in Westerbork transit camp. Since they had heard rumors about the extermination in Auschwitz, her father somehow managed to get them transferred to Theresienstadt. Against everyone's advice, NH's parents decided to take her with them to Theresienstadt instead of leaving her in hiding. In Theresienstadt she was placed in the nursery. She was 15 months old when they arrived. Theresienstadt was liberated by the Russians in May 1945, when NH was two and a half years old. They stayed there for a month and then left for Holland with the help of the Swiss Red Cross. Dutch citizens were collected from the city of Eindhoven. The family then made their way to Velno, where NH's father had grown up. They managed to get back to Amsterdam where they were re-united with NH's aunt who had rented them an apartment. Her father opened a cabinet makers shop and the lived with support from the Dutch government and the Red Cross. Two years later after the birth of NH's sister the family moved to Los Angeles, USA. ; NH's father was abusive to her, her sister and her mother. NH describes her mother as being an enabler and in denial. At 19, NH left home and went to study at UCLA. She was married at the age of 27 and sunk into deep depression. As a result, they got divorced one and a half year later. Since then NH has had a few serious relationships but she has never remarried. In adulthood NH was hospitalized a number of times for depression and has had nightmares since she was a child, including some recurring ones. She describes them in the interview. She is undergoing therapy for depression and has taken anti-depression drugs. She has even had shock therapy, although it did not help.Today she suffers from serious fatigue and oversensitivity to noise. NH still wishes to have a child once her mental condition has improved. NH and her mother remained in contact with the family that hid her and NH has visited them in Hilversum. NH identifies as a Jew but connects only to the cultural aspects of Judaism. Her Jewishness is tied with her being a child survivor.