Second generation of immigrants from German speaking countries ("Yekkes")

Aya Hadad lives in kibbutz Ayelet Hashahar since she was nine months old. She is married to a member of her kibbutz, he is of Yemenite origin. She worked at the kindergarten and as a secretary in the kibbutz' hotel, etc. After the birth of her fourth child she followed a training in Haifa and since then works as a hairdresser and painter. ; AH never wanted to go to Germany. She tells about her parents' and her bothers' visits to the country. She would never apply for a German passport, but her children wanted one for their studies in Europe. ; Her paternal grandmother, who managed to emigrate with her husband, did not learn Hebrew and only spoke German. AH understands some German, mainly because she tried to communicate with her grandmother and because she heard German when she was with her parents, but she is not able to speak. Her elder brothers, who grew up outside of the kibbutz, learned German. Her parents, paternal grandparents and AH's two elder brothers lived together on a farm for several years, but her parents returned to the kibbutz after AH was born. The Yekkes were a minority in kibbutz Ayelet Hashahar, the majority of the people came from Eastern Europe and the Middle East. AH tells about her parents' Yekkish friends, they had weekly meetings where the children were not allowed to participate. In the kibbutz AH grew up with Hebrew, although her parents continued to speak German amongst themselves. AH feels a barrier to German, she hated it when her parents talked to each other in a language she could not understand. She did not learn Hebrew in her family but in the children's house of the kibbutz. AH analyzes the problems with the children's houses in the kibbutzim. She does not consider it natural that children grew up apart from their parents. She herself felt like an orphan and had to share everything with the other children. Her parents were working hard. Her mother, who originally was a painter, did not have time for herself (or painting) and not for her children. Therefore AH had a rather reserved relationship with her parents when she was young. She herself still had to give her elder children to the children's house. She could raise the two younger ones herself though, because the kibbutz had finally given up this practice. ; AH did not get much physical attention from her parents and was surprised when her husband hugged and kissed their first child. She describes her mother's behaviour, who did not show much affection towards children. She analyzes the difference between Yekkish families and Jewish families from Eastern Europe. Her husband comes from a Yemenite family, his parents were very warm and AH felt comfortable among them. She had the feeling that children were not important to her own mother, the reasons might be her Yekkish origin, the kibbutz ideology and her work as an artist. Her academic education was very important to her mother. Her father was a little bit warmer and sometimes kissed her, what her mother did not like. AH analyzes the results of this lack of affection on her life, it caused her psychological problems. AH hardly ever met her brothers and sister, when they grew up in the kibbutz. She could only spend one hour a day with her siblings when they were allowed to go to their parents in the afternoon. She describes the relationship with her elder brothers. ; AH's grandmother came to the kibbutz only when she was already rather old. AH liked her very much, but they had communication problems since her grandmother spoke German and AH answered in Hebrew. They only talked about practical matters, but her grandmother was a warm person. AH had the impression that her parents did not pay a lot of attention to her, they often did not even come during the visiting hours. Her father sometimes told her stories about his childhood. AH describes her mother's habits, she was very much interested in culture and loved to have demanding discussions. She hardly ever talked to her children, partly because her Hebrew was not sufficient for intensive talks with her children. With her own children, at first AH had difficulties to show affection. She learned it from her husband and from other mothers. She thinks her eldest daughter suffered from her cold behavior. AH envies her elder brother, who in the first 8 years of his life lived together with his parents, grandparents and his younger brother. AH has a very close relationship with her two younger children, whom she could raise herself. She analyzes the needs of children.